Death Is My Gift
by wolfwynd
Summary: How Spike and the Scooby Gang are affected by Buffy's death


Death Is My Gift

Author: Laura Isaac  
E-mail: laura_isaac@hotmail.com  
Distributation: This site, ask if you want it  
Rating: PG for the teensy bit of swearing  
Summery: How Spike and the Scooby Gang are affected by Buffy's death  
Diclaimer: I own none of these charaters, Joss does so don't sue but the plot is mine, so don't take it!!  
Feedback: Any would be greatly appreciated  


Spike woke up, his head was throbbing *Where the bloody hell am I?* he thought to himself *And what the hell happened?* He lay there for a few seconds trying to get his bearings, then he started to remeber where he was and what he was meant to do *Dawn! - Oh bloody hell where is she, whats happened - it's too bloody quiet!* Despite feeling dizzy Spike tried to sit up, only then did he find out the reason for the quietness - Buffy.

The Scooby Gang were deathly quiet looking at her prone body on the wooden plank, Anya was snuggled safely into Xanders arms after being knocked down by falling beams, Giles was standing a few yards from Buffy with a grave and distressed look on his face, Dawn was standing motionless next to him and Willow was standing with Tara trying to keep each other up. Any of them would dare move, everyone stared at The Slayer.

It was only Willows choked sobs that broke the silence, sobs that shook her entire body. Her best frined was lying motionless, lifeless on the ground and she knew what that meant, they all did, Buffy had sacrificed herself for the good of mankind - again. *No, no, no!* Willow thought, unable to say anything through her tears.

Spike tried to get up, to run over to Buffy and try and help but his body wouldn't ley him and he collapsed into a heap on the floor, unable to keep the tears in himself. Burying his head in his hands he cried for the first time since Drusilla had left him 3 years ago, he didn't care that he was crying in front of the others, he didn't care about anything any more, none of them did. "Buffy!" he whispered, a whisper that was only audible to him.

Regret washed over Spike, although he had not a speck of soul about him, he felt guilty, that feeling in the pit of his stomach that wouldn't go away, Buffy had counted on him to protect Dawn, which he had promised to do. Only he had been thrown off the top of the scaffolding, he had hit the ground with such force that he was sure that bones had been broken, only he didn't care, he had failed in his task and now Buffy was dead. *I'm counting on you to protect her* she had made him promise her.

Giles, trying to stay strong for the rest of the on-looking group too a few short steps forward towards Buffy, unsure of what to do, he knelt down beside Buffy and took her small pale hand in his, the relationship between Slayer and Watcher evident in this moment, a moment that seemed to hang on forever. *Buffy is a hero, she is not like us all*, Giles words, words that he had spoken minutes before came back to haunt him. A small tear made its way slowly down his cheek and he rubbed it away quickly with the back of his hand lest more would swiftly follow.

Suddenly Giles was aware of a presense behind him and a hand resting on his shoulder, which was strangly comforting. He turned his head slowly upwards and saw Spike, his face was stained with the blood tears where he had been crying, the look on his face and in his eyes showed that he was hurting like the rest of them. "May I?" he said quietly "I won't hurt her I promise" Giles nodded slowly and stood upright again and he walked slowly towards the rest of them , his head down.

Spike knelt down, he sniffed and leant towards Buffy, he stroked her hair with his hand and placed a soft, tender kiss on her forehead and whispered "I'm so sorry pet, I tried my best, really I did, I didn't expect that fucking wanker to turn and spoil the party. I love you Buffy"

The rest of the gang caught the last sentence and looked at him in utter disbelief, he hadn't called Buffy by her given name before, only when he had been angry at her, it was usually Slayer and that's just the way it was with Spike. Spike knelt there for about 5 minutes, silent just looking at Buffy, the one he hadn't been able to stop thinking about for the past 6 months, the one who meant more to him than Drusilla had ever done. He was even going to kill Dru for her at one point, he would kill anyone now for her, just to have her back again.

Giles walked slowly up to them again and said in an almost whisper, "You seem to be the strongest one here, do you think you can carry her? We just can't leave her here, we need to get her to hospital or something....." Giles trailed off and the tears that had been threatening finally came.

"Sure I can mate, I'd be honored too" Regardless of how much Spikes arms and legs were hurting him he braced himself and took her into his arms, slowly, carefully, making sure he didn't hurt her even though it was no longer possible he was sure of it. He took her in his arms like a lover would and held her to his chest. Finally he got to his feet slowly and looked around. Giles had already started walking towards the entrance of the scrap-yard and following behind were Willow, Dawn, Xander, Tanya and Anya each with their heads down, each entwined in their own thoughts, each deathly silent.

Spike with Buffy safely in his arms said quielty "Come on pet, we better get going or we'll get left behind!" He kissed Buffy on the head again and as fast as his body would let him made his way towards the advancing party in front.

* * *

The days after Buffy's death went past in a blur, Willow took comfort in Tara and Anya however much it was hurting accepted Xanders wedding ring. Dawn went to live with Giles who took her in gladly, she was the only living memory he had of Buffy and he loved her more than anything, he had admitted that to Buffy in their final talk in the basement of his house.

He was hurting like the rest of them, but none more than Dawn, Buffy had sacrificied herself for Dawn and it was hell for her. She was the one who should have jumped into the energy but it was Buffy that made the sacrifice. She couldn't stop replaying Buffy's last words in her head

_Dawn...I love you, I will always love you. This is the work I have to do  
Tell Giles....tell Giles I figured it out and I'm okay  
Give my love to my friends  
You have to take care of them now, you have to take careof each other   
You have to be strong  
Dawn the hardest thing in this word is to live in it  
Be brave live.......for me_

Then when she couldn't cry anymore and with Giles help she finally dropped to sleep. He left Dawn upstairs sleeping, he was glad that at least she was getting some rest even though he knew it wouldn't be for long. He went down into the basement and sat down on the sofa that they had sat talking on days before, and the tears started again.

_*Giles, the spirit guide told me death is my gift.........*_

__


End file.
